The Sad People Club

Dear Diary

no hope for love

It’s been 24 days now. It’s like I’ve been missing. If you ask me what I’ve been doing during those 24 days – I have no idea. There is a change, I go out, I smile, I eat like before. Not that I feel better, but I’ve learned to pretend better. I guess that’s the first step. Here is another proof that the best way to overcome your issues is to act like they don’t exist.

I know for sure now that things will never be like before, and yet I keep some hope… They say hope is what keeps a man alive. To me, hope is what kills me. It stops me from moving ahead, it pulls me back, it pushes me down, it drives me towards self-destruction. I don’t want any hope!

They say hope is what keeps a man alive. To me, hope is what kills me. Click To Tweet

What is wrong with me? I don’t trust myself anymore. I am afraid of me because I don’t understand me. Time has the ability to make everything pass. Until then it will already be too late.

I realize that anything I do is with one sole purpose – to remind of my existence. I know it is lame but what the hell… Here I am, look at me! Do you think about me? That is everything I care about! Everything! Do you think about me? Every positive sign fills me with happiness, but as soon as the sign is gone I am overtaken by indescribable fear again.

I’ve been afraid of the dark, I’ve been afraid of death, but I am much more afraid now. Now I am afraid that I will be forgotten.

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