Life is pretty bad. Full of sadness, loneliness and misery. Not mine in particular, but Life in general.
Lately, I have been hearing a bit too often how great Life is and how we should all enjoy it to the fullest, how happiness is a choice and we need to learn to appreciate what we have… I doubt anyone truly believes that.
I think that somewhere deep inside most people know that Life sucks. But for some reason, they prefer not to admit it. They ignore the obvious facts, act like everything is fine and pretend that they love it. I don’t love it. I’ve tried but I can’t. For a number of reasons.
Life is too short
Too short compared to what? Time is relevant, right? An hour stuck in the traffic seems like an eternity. A week on a vacation is over in a flash. It is all about interpretation.
What I mean is that life is too short for us to do everything we want to do.
And we do want a lot, don’t we? It’s the way humans are. We are curious. We have a strong need to know, to learn, to discover. To improve ourselves more and more. This is what motivates us to live. And at the same time, that’s exactly what leaves us frustrated. We never want to stop, but eventually, we are forced to.
When you were a kid, what did you want to become when you grow up? Let me guess – A LOT of things. Most kids don’t limit themselves to just one thing. They wish big! They want to be something like a super-smart mad scientist-engineer, who is also a master in martial arts, a rock-star, draws magnificently, has a deep understanding of psychology, has traveled the whole world, knows how to fly a plane and owns a candy factory. All at once.
[clickandtweet handle=”@Farewell_Bo” hashtag=”#life” related=”” layout=”” position=””]Kids wish big because they haven’t yet realized that life is just too short.[/clickandtweet]
As we grow up, we give up our dreams one by one. Not because we don’t want to know kung-fu anymore, but because we realize that we’d need to dedicate an awful lot of our time in order to learn it. And that will be at the expense of something else. Our time is limited. So at some point, we keep to ourselves just one or two dreams. The worst part is that often they are not the ones we desire most, but rather the ones which seem most achievable.
Personally, I think that’s sad. And when all of those “positive” and “inspirational” people on the internet tell me to go and follow my dreams, I want to ask them “Which ones?” That is what bothers me! Which one of my dreams I have to follow? Or better yet, which one of my dreams I have to give up?
You can’t have everything
This isn’t about “having everything”, really. It is about setting priorities.
There are a lot of things of value in life. Love. Freedom. Dignity. Family. Independence. Happiness. Money. You can achieve any of them if you set them as your top priority. And that’s the problem – there can only be one top priority.
Everything we have comes at the expense of something else. For everything we want to acquire, we have to sacrifice something of equal value. Whatever we manage to achieve in life, there will always be a lot more things missing. Things which we – as humans – need.
This cruel Life forces us to choose between two goods or two evils and then torture us with the burden of guilt! We can’t choose not to choose.
You know how they say that for every door that closes, another door opens? Well,
Suffering is everywhere. Poverty, hunger, diseases, wars, cataclysms. Loss, loneliness, depression. It has many forms but the pain is always real. There is no need for suffering to exist. It shouldn’t be here. Yet it is an integral part of Life, to a limit where it actually defines Life. We can try to fight some of its forms (see the global goals for example) but we can’t fight suffering itself. As long as there is Life, there will be suffering.
Justice is imaginary
I don’t know how and where I first got the idea that good deeds always pay back and no cruelty goes unpunished. It is a silly idea. Bad things happen to good people all the time. Bad people prosper and live happily ever after.
We all see that, and it confuses us and it infuriates us. In a desperate attempt to set things right we invented karma, which makes sure we all get what we deserve. We invented god, who judges everyone in the afterlife.
Justice is a category man invented. It is not a universe’s law. Life has no understanding of justice. Life doesn’t give a crap about our moral, or ethics or what we think is fair. Life doesn’t motivate us to do the right thing.
Life is chaos
We like to put everything around us in order. We like cause and effect. We like knowing that when we drop a rock it falls on the ground. We like knowing that if we kill someone we are prosecuted. And we also like knowing that what goes around comes around. If we do good, that’s what we will get. If we work hard and wholeheartedly towards something, we will achieve it.
If you have played video games you know that there is a certain right way of playing the game. If you perform the correct sequence of actions you are guaranteed to succeed and reach the happy end. Imagine if you play a game that randomly kills your character for no reason as you play. What kind of stupid game would that be?!? Well, it would be just like Life.
Because Life doesn’t need a reason for anything. Nothing happens for a reason. Because of a cause – yes. But for a reason – no. At least not for a sane, logical reason. It doesn’t follow a pattern. It doesn’t fit in a template. It can take away everything you have fought for and crush it in an instant. It can shutter your world and turn it to dust. With no warning. With no sign. Throughout our life, things just randomly happen around us and to us, beyond our control.
Life is stronger than us
Life isn’t what you make it! They only say that to make themselves feel better. But in fact, it is the other way around – you are what Life makes you. No one is larger than Life. Life was here before you were. It would still be here after you’re gone. Even if you never existed, Life would still go on. It is beyond you or any of us.
Of course, one could point out that life was pretty different some time ago. Which means that it has changed. And if we wanted to, we could make a pretty long list with names of people who had a significant impact on human’s history. Meaning they changed our life in a way. But that’s not the point.
The point is that it doesn’t matter who you are. You can only reach as far as Life allows. You can only take the chances Life offers you. Nothing more. You don’t create those chances. You depend on what Life gives you. You are limited within the provided possibilities.
There is no second chance
No man ever steps in the same river twice. You may go to that river as many times as you want, but it won’t be the same. If you fail a test you may try again later. But that will be another test, in another time. The first one you will never ever be able to try to take again. Once something is over, it is over forever.
You never get a second chance for anything. It’s bad because there are so many situations you can’t be prepared for and you are sure to fail. Then what’s the use of learning from your mistakes? You’ve failed already! Now you know what you should have done, but that only makes you feel worse. It is pointless. You can’t fix your past.
I am the kind of person who thinks a lot about the past. I often wish I could turn back time and do things differently. I know I could have a better life. I wish I could make some wrongs into rights. But I can’t.
The list goes on. And I hope it is clear that those things are not a matter of perspective. A change in the mindset changes how you see life, but it doesn’t change Life itself. If you share my point of view, I’d like to hear your own reasons why Life sucks. And if you don’t, feel free to prove me wrong in the comments bellow. I am always open to discussion.