Warm milk and butter biscuits. My mother has over burned them a little this time but they are still nice. Everyone is asleep already. I should go to bed, too, I will have to get up early for work, but I wanted to think about all the stuff that happened in the last few days. It’s Monday tomorrow.
I always thought that was my problem. Not Mondays. Thinking about stuff. I used to do it all the time. I was always contemplating events, words, gestures. Who? Why? I wanted to make clear every thought, the motive behind every action. I slept little. It was killing me. It was ruining my life. I thought it would be best if I quit this habit for good.
I am not a smoker but I guess smoking is easier to quit than thinking. Anyways, I changed. For real. For at least two years I live carelessly. No worries for the future, no questions, no answers. I have become superficial. I talk a lot with no regard with what I think, often on topics I know nothing about. I turn everything into a joke. Just like I had planned it!
But I don’t feel better. In fact I think that things got worse. A lot worse. I wish I could get my old me back…